I happened across Simon Sinek on YouTube talking about Millennials in the Workplace and found what he said to be right on point. I could relate a lot of what he said to what I was seeing in my classroom. I was guilty of many of the parenting fails he mentioned. Forming relationships and forming trust are something we are missing out on these days, we are missing out on the opportunities for innocuous interactions that lead to meaningful relationships. Seeing this video led me to Googling him and finding his book Together is Better. "What are you going to do with your life? What are you doing with your life now?" "Do you have goals? A vision? A clear sense of why you do what you do?" I have given this wonderful fable to many of the important people in my life, both young and old. What better feeling is there to have than to be inspired. Wake up each day and feel inspired by what you do. There have been school years where I have woke up and dreaded my day, I haven't even consumed my daily coffee or changed out of my PJ's and dread was eating me up. I sat down and had to reflect upon my decision to continue on this path, and tell myself if you dread your day so much, change what you do. Well I didn't want to change what I do, I love kids! I love all my kids! I had to change how I dealt with the parts of my job that I did not like. I had to realize there were aspects beyond my control and learn how to reconcile those things and ponder on how to better react to them. Instead of fighting against something and focusing on the thing I hated, I started to fight for something and focus on the thing I love. I love the kids! Paperwork will never go away. I hate it. Documentation will never go away. I have to do it, so I am focusing on just doing it better. Finding ways to tie it to my daily instruction more effectively. Exploring how it benefits what I do not how much time it eats up. Grades, that is a whole other blog post as well, I hate them. Parents who don't see eye to eye with me, well, do I see eye to eye with everyone? No, I didn't necessarily agree with all the teachers who my children had over the years. I can't fight the parents, I can't stop them from saying mean things about me and pointing out the flaws they see in me to their friends and to their kids. I have to look at things from their perspective, they love the thing I love about my job more than I do, they love their kid. I can't change them; I can just focus on the thing I love, teaching their kid and trust my team to help me navigate obstacles as they occur. I vowed to not let anyone question why I do what I do, the dread will never get in the way, it is gone, I will fight for something and focus on the kids. That is where this book fits in. "When we are closed to ideas, what we hear is criticism. When we are open to criticism, what we get is advice." I have become much better at taking what people are offering as advice. Maybe they are criticizing me, but I don't allow myself to see it that way anymore, I see it as advice. As a teacher and a department lead I offer advice all the time. I try to be empathetic to those I am giving it to and understand why they are reacting to it the way they are. Is it my delivery? So I have turned that around. I cannot change the way a parent, an administrator, a colleague, a student are speaking to me, and I cannot change their message or their delivery. What is within my power is to change the way I receive it, and take it as advice. We are a team, working for a common goal, the education of children. What do I love about what I do, the kids! On page 9 there is the quote "Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge." As a teacher I see myself as the leader and this is why we build our social contract, (see the previous blog post). I don't want my students to see me as the one in charge; I want them to know that I am taking care of them. Yes I am teaching you math, but I see that as secondary to making sure you are OK. Physically, emotionally, socially.....the list goes on. How can a kid learn if they are not OK? I can try and teach you all the maths in the world but if you are not OK not very much learning can go on. Together is Better is exactly what it says it is "A Little Book of Inspiration" I find the message it offers transfers many aspects of my life and hopefully will inspire all the special people I have shared it with and if you pick it up hopefully it will inspire you. Not to mention the scented pages, Ethan Aldridge’s delightful illustrations and there is a song by Aloe Blacc! "What good is an idea if it remains an idea? Try. Experiment. Iterate. Fail. Try again. Change the world." -Simon Sinek Hmm, I feel like I just wrote a book review. Mrs. Jones
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I ditched the word "rules" a few years ago and have used a Social Contract instead. How should we treat one another? There are still rules, on my Course Overview it states we must follow the student code of conduct, that is a non-negotiable. We discussed how we all may not agree with what is in it, but there are laws we all must abide by that we don't agree with, it is just a fact of life. Dress Code is the one they all balk at. Knives, they all think they can bring a knife if the blade is a certain length. No!!!! My car is my car why can't I store my gun in it? No!!!! So I guess there are rules, but in 1.206 we have a Social Contract.
I have found that by using a social contract that the students are active participants in building it helps foster classroom rapport and teamwork to create a safe, trusting learning environment. I have also found that it helps build motivation and helps the students take responsibility for their actions and performance. Ultimately The Social Contract is designed to let all participants in a classroom know what behavior is acceptable and what is not. It is an agreement of behavior to promote a self managing class. The primary questions I consider when developing our social contract are:
The kids come up with the same words for the first 3 questions for the most part, respect, kindness, listen, tolerate, kind words.....you get the idea. This year my Freshman struggled with the violations. "Send them out" was the big one. I had to pry and pry to get something that we could do in the class, like apologize, say nice things....They are a sweet group and maybe they are so nice all the time there will be no violations. I learned about Social Contracts 10 or so years ago at Capturing Kids Hearts, and have used it ever since. In conjunction with the contract there are the four question for misbehavior, they work like a charm.
I have found if you get buy in treat them as mature young adults that they will start to act like mature young adults. This is their class and they should feel safe and want to come here everyday!! |
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